The White Sheep of a Black family
by Jente Bidernais
Summary: We weren’t a happy family, all loving and caring. We were three kids frightened of their parents, a father just as much frightened of his kids and an angry mother.' But now Betelgeuse gets the change to form a new family. Will she do it any better?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N The White sheep of a Black family.**

Hi everyone! I'm doing something totally different than I normally do: I'll write a pilot for a story I want to write. This way I'll write more than three parts (that's the point I always get stuck) and I'll also be capable to see the reactions of the people and be inspired by them, without feeling the pressure of having to write a whole story. I've already finished the whole pilot, which exists out of a 'long' prologue and two chapters, of which the last one is the shortest.

I'm trying a different writing style. Not because I seriously think it's a good style, but to exercise my writing skills (or to try to actually develop writing skills, your pick.) So I write in the present time (I prefer past) and I use an actual 'I- person' (I'm usually doing the he/she-style). My goal is to use the present time without annoying anyone (I'll always get annoyed when I'm reading stories in the present time). Your job (because _yes_, you've got a job in this 'brilliant' scheme) is to let me know whether I exceed.

I also try an original plot, but I always try to do that. This one involves Betelgeuse, the Black's sister. At present it's the day after Sirius escape, but in the prologue tells Betty about the past. So, of course, I use the past sense there. That's one of my other 'goals'. I want to use the past sense as much I can, because I see that as a way to keep the annoyance about the present time as small as possible.

So…. That's about it. I'm planning to upload a part of the pilot every Saturday at six PM, Dutch time. Stick with me, at least 'till the end of the pilot. You know you want to! You get cookies, or Trojan Horses, whatever you prefer!!

Of the real story won't be called 'the White Sheep of a Black family.' I've got another name in my head, already, but if you've got strokes of brilliance and think: 'now _that_ is a good name,' be sure to let me know, I can be persuaded.

**Story: The White Sheep of a Black family, an introduction.**

Hi, I'm Betelgeuse, the one and only White Sheep of the Black-family. You might think my name a little odd. I'm named after a star in the constellation Orion. Why? Oh, my family is bonkers. And Orion was my dads name. They wanted to point out that I was just a small part of him. A possession.

I guess it was the only logical name they could think of. We were with three kids, at home. Sirius, the dog of Orion, was the eldest. The idea behind it was probably that Sirius would follow him around the house and learn, or something like that. Shame on them. Sirius, being a creature all by himself and not a part of father, was a bit of a rebel. A long time, the term 'White Sheep' was reserved for him.  
Until he became a cold-blooded murderer.

Regulus, the right heel of Orion, was the second eldest. My parents loved him deeply, for he did just as he was bidden. He truly _was_ the heel of my father. A long time, everybody thought he would become a successful death eater. Shame on them. Regulus was loyal to my parents and the Dark Lord, yes. He did join the death eaters when he was barely out of school, yes. But he also was a coward. And when he found what he had to do, the kid ran.

And there was me, the youngest. And the girl. Worthless, as they said. So, I became Betelgeuse, the ninth brightest star in the sky. Sirius is the second brightest, what do _you_ think they wanted to say with that, uh? Well, brightest star or not, Sirius is in Azkaban now. Or at least he was. He escaped. No one before him did such thing, but then again, Sirius makes a sport of being the first to do something. And that's why they call him a show-off.

When I was young I wanted to be like Regulus. Regulus was loved and thought worthy by our parents. I was not, but how I wanted to be... Reggie was nice to me. He didn't protest when I wanted to hang out with him and his friends. He cuddled me, protected me. For I was his little sister. I was Sirius little sister as well, but I guess there was a too big age gap between us. He protected me, alright, but Sirius protection tends to get you hurt.

We weren't a happy family, all loving and caring. We were three kids frightened of their parents, a father just as much frightened of his kids and an angry mother. We kids were all stars that somehow belonged to one constellation, but we never were one piece. We were all dreaming of great futures and somehow on the way our parents had only one (dead) son left. That was Regulus. Regulus got himself killed when he stood up against what we once all believed in. Or so they say.

Sirius and I are alive, but not in any way more part of the family than the neigbours pet dog. Sirius got himself disowned at the fragile age of sixteen. I was twelve and that was when my eldest brother became my idol. I was young and looking for the point where I stopped and my parents began. I was forming an identity and realized that doing everything my parents told me wouldn't help me in any way. I wanted to follow in his footsteps.

So I did. That's the thing with Blacks. No matter how long they think things over, never do they see the consequences of their actions. I couldn't foresee, on that moment, that Reggie would feel betrayed and alone. It was only logical, of course, but I was young and didn't look that far ahead. I left home at the age of fifteen, not knowing that I wouldn't see Regulus again, until something bad happened to him. To us.

How old Reggie was when he joined the death eaters, I'll never know. I know that he already was one when he was eighteen. That was when we met each other again. Well, we had met in the meanwhile, but that was in school and most of the time he would just ignore me. _That_, or he would attack me. _'Wands drawn in the hallway, preparing to fight'_, would the detention rapports say. Oh the joy of those days.

I was away from my family for over a year, when Reggie suddenly was there. It is necessary to state, I believe, that I was at the place I called home then. A ridiculous small apartment, I managed to pay with the money I'd stolen from my family before leaving and the upbringings of my job as laundry-girl. Also, it might be necessary for you to know that I hadn't had a decent conversation with Reggie all over that year and that I still do not know how he found me.

His appearance was shocking in more ways than one. He was really sick, I noticed, when I recovered from the shock of being dragged into my own home by the brother who wouldn't talk to me for over a year. I asked him what had happened. He declared he was dead. It sure looked like he was going to be soon. Luckily, I was able to save his life.

The next morning he stood up, once again declaring he was dead. That was a strange statement, even for a Black, cause he was very much alive. So, since I'm a want-to-know-it-all (yes, they are different from know-it-alls…. Want-to-know-it-alls tend _not_ to know it) I asked what he meant. "I'm dead!" He declared once more.

We weren't getting any further with that statement, so I decided to try something else. "Do you care to explain?" Apparently he did, because the next hour I heard a story, so unbelievable, that I did indeed not believe him. I should have. I should have known. I should have understood, for this story was an example of Black-logic, something I'm exceptional good at, most of the time. And it _was_ true.

To cut it short, this is what Reggie told me: As a Death Eater Regulus lived in fear. So, he decided to get out of… the circuit. When he found out that the Dark Lord made himself Horcruxes (that was when I stopped believing him… do understand: I believed that the Dark Lord made Horcruxes, he was just that type of guy, but not that Regulus would be capable of finding out something like that. According to the me the boy was pretty stupid. I could not have been more mistaken) he decided to destroy one.

To get that cursed piece of soul, he had to drink a potion that showed him his worst nightmares and poisoned him in the mean time. It was not deadly enough to kill him right on the spot, Reggie believes this was because Lord Voldemort would want to torture his foe first. I think he probably is right. Anyway, so he sent Kreacher (our house-elf, a sweet old dear, until he found out that I was sorted in Huflepuff) to our home with the horcrux and the order to destroy it. Then he decided to come to me for help.

This, of course, doesn't explain why he was dead. Reggie had managed to make a fake dead body of himself, and had placed it in front of the Ministery of Magic, the Dark Mark hanging over it. According to the newspaper that morning, he was dead. According to the Ministry too. According to the whole wizarding world, but us two, Regulus had passed away. There were remarkable few people who cared. That depressed my brother a bit, actually, I had to make sure no innocent bottle of Alcohol crossed his way, cause if it did, the bottle would cease to exist.

So there I was, I had turned sixteen two months ago, and suddenly I had to care for a brother who was going through a difficult time. It was hard to stay patient with him, 'cause now I was going through a difficult time, too. I had to work for two, do the household, do all the psychological care I could and not fall behind on my studies. On top of that I had to worry about Regulus and how everything would go when I was back to Hogwarts. So, I cried, late at night, and snapped at everything and everyone that passed by.

That were the good days. The silence before the storm, so to speak. Everything would become worse, way worse once Halloween came. Things had become relatively better when I went back to Hogwarts and could escape the clutches of Regulus, at least most of the time. I still had to go home everyday, to bring Reggie food, but at least I couldn't stay too long, because someone would notice something was off when I did. Or so I claimed. Truth to be told, I was sick of Reggies whining and I had the feeling that I would shoot him, the next time he started it again.

Halloween Eve something happened, so horrible, yet so delightful. Sirius had a godson, you know? Harry, the son of two of his best friends. Sirius and James seemed to have that _click_ when they were 

around each other. They helped each other to be the best –that's what Sirius called it, I'm going for worst- they could be. They had so much more than friendship… They completed each other. They were a part of each other's soul. And Lily, Lily was the most wonderful girl you can imagine. The only girl who could make those two behave themselves. I met them on few occasions, like Sirius birthday. (I used to sneak out our parents house to celebrate with him and _always_ got caught. Am not _that_ sneaky…)

That night, they died, but the killing curse that was directed at their son did something horrible, yet wonderful. It rebounded and finished of the Dark Lord. That was horrible, because it left the young orphaned boy with a scar on his head and a piece of Voldemort in his soul. Well, not actually a piece, Harry didn't become a horcrux or something, but there is some weird connection between He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and Harry. Sirius godson was damaged. But it was delightful, too. There was one Dark Lord less on this world and everybody was really happy.

I was at Hogwarts when we heard the news. Everyone was ever so excited, but I knew that Sirius was heart broken. We were allowed out of school to celebrate with family that same night. Instead of going home, I went to Sirius' place. _He was not there._

I fire-called all his friends. No one had seen him, lately. Peter Pettigrew wasn't home and probably not celebrating –he was a good friend of the Potters, too- and that comforted me. Wherever my brother was, he was probably with Peter, who would keep him safe.

Regulus was really happy, almost manically so. He didn't feel compassion for Sirius ("I hate him, he didn't come to _my_ funeral either, did he? Another Whiskey?") or the Potters ("'M Sorry they're dead. But they hung out with Sirius, they've got to be scum!"), but was overly happy with the dead of his former master. ("And to think I helped. I _helped_, I _actually helped_! He wouldn't have died if_ I_ hadn't destroyed his Horcrux, would he?" "No, Reg, he wouldn't have. Now, put down the Whiskey. Reg… Reg.." "I _helped_!")

Regulus only stopped yelling "I helped!", when I started crying. I cried for James and Lily Potter, because even though I didn't know them that well, I had admired them greatly. I cried for Harry, who was now an orphan. I knew Harry and he had stolen my heart with his cute smile and strong will. Harry never cried, never threw childish tempers and, to cut it short, was more mature than his father and godfather would ever be. But most of all, I cried for Sirius, who had lost all he held dear in one _damned _night.

Next morning, everything became _worse_. I had to cry for Sirius _again_ and this time Regulus joined me, surprisingly. We had never thought this could happen. We couldn't believe it. If times managed to turn Sirius bad, there was no hope left for us.

In the late night after Halloween, or in the early morning next day, Sirius Black killed thirteen people. Twelve of them were muggles. One was Sirius friend, Peter Pettigrew.


	2. Chapter 2

**The White sheep of a Black family. Chapter 1.**

_In the late night after Halloween, or in the early morning next day, Sirius Black killed thirteen people. Twelve of them were muggles. One was Sirius friend, Peter Pettigrew._

Sirius was brought to Azkaban. He deserved to be there. Reggie and I _wanted _him to be there, if only for what he put _me_ through. At school I was bullied. I never was before, but now my schoolmates had learned the true meaning of the name Black. I didn't protest, I didn't tell them they were wrong, for they were right. Blacks were bad. I was a Black, therefore I was bad.

The school tried to help me. One professor, professor Dumbledore, particularly. He offered me support and listened to me. He gave me help. I received help from Reggie, too. "Beta, you _must_ remember, we are _not_ Sirius, we can make it all right. _We can._" For the first time since he lived in my house, I was on the receiving end of the help. Things changed. We changed. Regulus came out of his depression and I fell into one.

It took me weeks to recover and I still curse myself for being that weak. Reggie keeps saying that I should be proud. It took him longer than me, he says. I say he's a fool.

All events changed me for good. The young rebelling girl is gone. I do not love everyone who crosses my path anymore. Only Reggie holds my heart, Reggie and little Josh. My love for Sirius is gone, too. It's replaced with a bitter anger, fueled on a feeling of pain and betrayal. I don't cry anymore. When things get tough I get angry, not sad. I use my temper to hurt deliberately. I'm not a little girl who's protected, anymore. I'm the one who protects now. I protect Reggie and his kid. I take care of them like a man. Ironic. My parents said I was not worthy, cause I was a girl. Now I took the place of the man. Probably because of them.

Reggie changed, too. He's become a womanizer. That's why he has a child and no wife. One day there was a girl at our door. "Hey _darling_," she said, looking at me with hatred. (She probably thought I was one of Reggies girls…) "Give this to Reg, will you? It's his. He left it with me. Name is Josh. Bye." The girl ran and I was too shocked to go after her. Josh is a good three years old now and a dear as I've ever seen one. Reggie says I spoil him. But I really don't. _I think._

Truth to be told, Josh reminds me of Harry. I take good care of him, to make up for what Harry has to go through. Reggie says it's wrong. (I never listen to him, anyway.) Josh misses me when I'm at work, a lot, like I missed father when he was away. (Never mind that I missed father mostly because mother wouldn't hit me when he was around.) I try to make up for being away so much by giving him as much attention as I can. Reggie says it's wrong. (But he knows I won't listen to him, anyway.)

Josh calls me mum.

Reggie and I have always been happy that Sirius was in jail. We were happy he couldn't harm _our _Josh. Now_, Sirius has broken out of jail._

The Prophet had a headline that read "Notorious murderer Sirius Black escapes jail" on the front page, yesterday. I didn't even see it, when I threw it on the table, while making breakfast. No, it was Reggie who found out and yelled for me to come and see. We made quite a consternation. I think we scared Josh.

I wanted to stay home, to protect both Reggie and Josh, but Reg convinced me to go. He was right when he told me it would be useful to hear what information the aurors had on Sirius. In the briefing I didn't learn much. They didn't know what happened, how it could have happened or how to find my brother. So, every Auror and even the trainee's were set on looking for Sirius. Every Auror except me. Shacklebolt explained to me, that even though he knew I was on bad terms with Sirius, I wasn't allowed to search for him. It was the procedure, he said. I wished to believe him, but I knew Shacklebolt hated me, so I didn't.

While everybody was searching for Sirius, I was doing paperwork. It was killing me. I wanted that bastard found and I wanted to be with my family to protect them if necessary. I had no doubt that Sirius would turn against us. He was a pureblood fanatic and we were blood traitors. I feared especially for Josh. He was a half-blood, son of a blood traitor and a disgrace to the Black-name in Sirius eyes. I wanted to be anywhere, but at the office doing _bloody paperwork_.

I didn't become an Auror to do paperwork, did I? No, I became an Auror to prove myself and the world that I was not Sirius Black and that I was a good guy, or a good girl, to be more precise. And now I was locked up, doing _nothing._

I _hated _Shacklebolt for it. And that was one of the reasons that, when I thought up the explanation for this all, I didn't go and tell him. It was also one of the reasons why I took the day off today, even if it means missing the morning briefing on Sirius. It doesn't matter anyway, because I already know. They haven't found Sirius, they can't have found Sirius. Because I'm _certain_ no one is going to look for a black dog when they're searching a notorious murderer. No one but Reggie, Josh and me that is. 'Cause I'm going to find that bastard and they're coming with me. I hate to drag them into danger, but I can't allow them to stay home unprotected. Even if Reggie claims they'll be fine.

So, now Josh is chattering away happily, looking at his pink rain boots every three seconds. "Where we going, mummy?" Regulus doesn't even flash me annoyed look. (He has been flashing me those looks ever since he realized that Josh is going to call me 'mummy' no matter what. He has tried to teach him to say 'Aunt', but quitted after a half year of frustration. This frustration was mostly because Josh called _everybody _aunt, everybody but me. Even Reggie himself got called 'aunt' on a few occasions.)

Regulus is worried. I understand, I'm a bit worried myself. Scrap that. I'm really worried. What if things go wrong? What if Sirius has gotten his hands on a wand and tries to use it against _our_ Josh? What if he gets scared and hurts Josh? What if something happens to _Regulus_? I would _never_ forgive myself, but this has to be done. It's to protect Regulus and Josh, I remind myself. I won't let that bastard hurt them. I won't.

What worries me as well, is the presence of Aurors at the coast. What if one recognizes Regulus? But, no. No, they won't. It's been _fourteen_ years. Reggie was just eighteen when he disappeared. He is thirty-two, now. He's grown quite a bit, he's gotten a little bit fat, actually. His face has changed, too. When we were young, he never wore muggle clothing, now he's in a suit. I shouldn't worry.

If anything, I should be worried about me. If an Auror sees me, on the beach with a friend and child, on a day I called sick…. Well, I'd probably be doing paperwork until Christmas next year. Aurors _do_ tattle. And Shacklebolt hates me. As my mentor he's still the one to punish me.

I _hate_ this system. I'm not _that_ young. It's not fair that I should still have a mentor at the age of thirty. It's just my rotten luck that I got that Shacklebolt-guy as a mentor. He's the one who's been refusing to give me an 'adult Auror status'. Of course, that's not what it's truly called, but I doubt there's anyone alive who still knows the old term. Anyway, Shacklebolt won't give it to me. Says I'm not prepared yet. That I still can't control my anger enough. That I will be a danger to the society if he allows me to run free. That every time he considers to give it to me, I get to ruin it. That beating up one of the suspects does _not_ help.

Shacklebolt was in the Order of Phoenix. Sirius betrayed him just as hard as he betrayed Lily and James. I feel sorry for him. He might even be right. I _did_ beat up three suspects. But, I _swear_, he still goes harder on me than on his other pupils.

Besides, I haven't beaten up someone in the last three years.

Okay, that's excluding two exes of mine.

_And _the father of one of Reggies girls. (_H_e started it! _He shouldn't have_ touched _my_ little brother!)

But besides them, I didn't touch _any one_, least of all my suspects.

But, Shacklebolt still hates me. If he hears that I was on the beach instead of in my bed, today, I'm screwed. So, better not run into any Aurors.

Reggie looks strange in his suit. I've never see him in anything, but free-time-clothing. Especially when it's this hot. Reggie doesn't work. He does the household and finds 'chickies' to make out with. For neither of those occasions do you have to wear a suit. He doesn't even own one. I had to enlarge one of my own suits. Why did he insist on wearing one today? I think it's got something to do with Sirius. Reggie knows that Sirius hates suits. Maybe that's why he wants to wear one today. Even if it's bloody hot.

Reggie takes up Josh. "We're going to the beach, little one." Josh is looking at Reggies chest, so he doesn't even try to look like he isn't scared. I sigh. "Time to go, babe." Josh allows me to place a little kiss on his cheek. Reggie and I nod silently and disapparate.

We've been disapparating with Josh on our arms ever since he was little. He's used to the feeling and shows no signs of illness. That's a good thing, because most kids throw up after apparating.

Okay, this was stupid. How in hell did I expect to find a black mutt on the beach? Or anywhere near the beach? Do you know how _big_ the beach is? And Sirius has got two days of head start now. We are never going to find him.

No, I _am_ going to find him. I _am_. I want to find him, so I will. Has there ever been anything I wanted to do, that I wasn't capable of doing in the end? Ever? _No_, I didn't think so either. So I will find him. I just have to figure out how.

Okay, just imagine: I'm an escaped convict. No, no, I'm starting all wrong! I'm not just an escaped convict. I'm _Sirius_. I'm a dare devil. I always find ways to do the unexpected. So I have to _expect _the unexpected. Wasn't there once a wise man who said that?

_Anyway_, I'm Sirius. I've just escaped Azkaban. I swam over the sea. I'm tired. I have the body of a dog. What will I do? _Rest_? No, I'm Sirius!! Sirius never rests.

Okay, so I won't rest. But I'm still tired and _hungry_. I need energy. Where am I going? I'm going to find food, that's what. Food first. It's always food first with Sirius.

Sirius lives on canine instincts. So he's eaten by now. What is he doing? Traveling. Traveling an awful lot. Sirius couldn't stay on the same spot, even if he wanted to, even if it was just for two minutes. So, Sirius is traveling.

But, where to? Does he have a goal? Does Sirius ever have a goal? It seems like he always did things at random to me.

How does he know where to go to anyway? Do dogs have this big inner compass, or something like that?

Would a big black mutt go unnoticed? Perhaps we should go around and hand out flyers, saying that we lost our dog…..

Why don't we…. Well, talking about coincidence! "Reggie…"

"What?!" Regulus talks way too loud for my liking.

"Reggie, ssht. Behind you." Regulus turns.

"Let us all be damned!"

I curse.

"Reggie!! What about my 'shht'? Get him now, before he's gone!"

And Reggie dives. The big black dog yelps in pain. Josh squels in delight. I grab all three of them and we dissapparate.


	3. Betty

**The White sheep of a Black family. Chapter two.**

_And Reggie dives. The big black dog yelps in pain. Josh squels in delight. I grab all three of them and we dissapparate. _

When everything blurs together, whirling around me, my thoughts whirl as well. I can't follow myself anymore. Somehow I end up with my wand in my hand, ready to stun the black dog when we land.

"Reggie, take Josh and get upstairs. Protect him from _him_, if necessary."

Reggie glares at me.

"No."

I glance at him absentminded.

"Uh… what?" Reggie throws me another glare. His face is so stony. His eyes hold a power I've never seen before. I'm shell-shocked. Reggie is a weak creature. (At least in my opinion.) He's a follower not a leader. (Maybe some people would say you need courage to trust another enough to do anything (s)he says.) He would never stand his ground. Yet, here he stands, hands on his hips.

"No. _You_ take Josh and go upstairs. This is more of a man's job." _A man's job?_ That's rich, coming from a man who does the household. Reggie is _not _a man. Not in the 'macho man' way, anyway. Nice name for chips, by the way. I proudly present you: _'the macho man; chips and testosterone.'_ If this were not such a grave matter I would laugh.

"_Man's job_? Well, than I'm the obvious choice. I've got way more balls than you ever will. Now, take Josh and get upstairs." He knows I'm serious. He's scared as hell. He trembles, yet he doesn't do what I say.

"No. I'm not going to leave you alone with…. _That._" It's time to pull the card that always does the trick:

"Regulus Arcturus Black, as long as you're living under _my_ roof, eating _my_ food, you'll do what I say." I know it's a cheap trick. So what? I'm a cheap girl from a rich family. I'm a Black. I'm bad. It's okay if I do things like this sometimes. It's for the greater good, after all. There's no reason for me to feel guilty. No reason at all.

"You sound like mother," Reggie says in spite. That's below the belt. _Way_ below the belt. No one deserves to be told that. I couldn't live with myself if I turned out like her. I couldn't live like her. If you call what she did 'living'. She never loved, she never laughed, she never cried. She never lived. She just…. existed.

"That's it, Reggie. Josh needs his father. You're his father, I'm not. You stay with him upstairs. That's it. No discussions. Take Josh upstairs, _now_." Regulus is scared. He trembles even more. He never stood up to anyone before. Now he's got to stand up to _me_. Poor kid. He shakes his head and I immediately lose all sympathy for him.

It's happens before anyone knows it. Within seconds I disappear and a lion is stands in my place. I roar. Reggie takes a step back.

"No." He's whispering now. Trembling like hell too, but somehow he'll still won't give in.

I step forward and make a biting movement. Reggie jumps and takes two steps back. He's giving up, I see it in his eyes.

"Daddy, daddy! Lion! We hug lion." Josh beams. This is a good moment to point out that Josh knows how to formulate good sentences. He's quite good at it actually, but Reggie taught him to talk like this. He uses him to pick up single moms. I don't think this is good for the morals of our little Josh. But I've got to admit, it's a brilliant way to pick up single parents. And single fathers are _wild_ in bed. _ Needy, hungry…. _passionate.

"No, Josh, I don't think that's a good idea. Lions are not big pussycats. You can't pet them. And definitely not this one. She bites." Reggie smirks at me. How low of him. He knows I'll never harm Josh. I may bark, but I don't bite, most of the time.

"You wanna take a bath, Joshy-boy?" Josh squels and nods his head.

They go upstairs and I change back. With a madman-grin I approach the stunned dog-form of my brother.

"It's just you and me now."

Sirius looks scared when I charge at him. He looks at his arms, the only things that stop him from getting out of the chair I put him in. A nifty glue-spell, combined with tight ties (not that the ties were necessary, strictly speaking, but I like it when my victims are tied).

"Now tell me Sirius, _why?_" He looks at me. He's confused.

"Understand me, I don't wanna know why you turned bad. I want to know why you pretended to be on the light side all the time. Was it to ruin us? Did you want to hurt us? To think there was hope, just so you could make us lose it? Did you want to drive me crazy? Because you did. I was crazy for a while. And now I'm seeing your face again, I'm going crazy again as well. Well, enlighten me. _Why_?"

He's white as chalk. Scared as hell. Oh god, I like it, to see him this way. It's what he deserves. I was planning on turning him over to Shacklebolt, showing him that I _am_ a good Auror, that I _can_ be trusted. But now I want to keep him. To play with him, for awhile. Or forever perhaps. Maybe it's one of those game you never get tired of. 'Hurting the bastard.' The perfect name for a perfect game. It makes me wonder, am I turning into a new Bellatrix Lestrange? Am I going crazy? If I am, would that be all that bad? Or, is this what they call hate?

"I did.d.d.n.n't."

He stutters. I've never heard him stutter before. I like it. It becomes him.

"Oh, did.d.d.n.n't you? Didn't you play games with us? Didn't you pretend to be on our side? Well? _Answer me_." I always knew I had this dark side in me. I beat people up, okay? When they harm people I like, or when they harm the innocent. Sirius did both. It's logical, that I feel this way. But this is something more. I think, I really think, I can kill him. I can kill my own brother. Not because he harmed my other brother. Not because he killed thirteen innocents. Not because he's a threat to my 

precious Josh. Simply because he harmed _me_. _Me_. He made _me _a victim. I'm not victim-material. I am the aggressor. I _can't_ be the victim. I'm _not_ a victim.

"No, I didn't. I didn't pretend to be good. I didn't turn bad. I'm _innocent_, Betty." He's stopped stuttering, I notice. I feel a wave of regret, before one word hits home.

_Betty._ Betty, the name only my brothers were allowed to use. The name that no one is allowed to use anymore. It's Beta now, because Betty left a bad taste in our mouths, after Sirius went bad. It is this name, and this name only, that causes me to say:

"Oh really? Why don't you explain this interesting theory to me? Well… go ahead."

It's the second time in my life that a brother tells me a story, so unbelievable, that I do indeed not believe him. At first.

But, once you think it over, if you leave out all your hatred and all information you got from thirds, from rumors, all information that does not match the story…. Once you do all that, you'll believe, you'll understand.

And I laugh. And I cry. Because it's so incredible ironic. Just imagine! Peter Pettigrew who pulls the proverbial wool over the eyes of Sirius Black. Learning all he needs to learn from the warriors of the light, just to serve the Dark. Fooling everyone. Skinny, nerdy, spineless Pettigrew… There something very elegant in that. And something sickening, too.

I bent over and hug Sirius. Betty is back.


End file.
